I was having a discussion with a friend today, and for the first thirty minutes the conversation was set in the past, my friend didn’t once think to tell me about what was presently going on for her, or about how she’s planning for an exciting time in the future. She was, in my opinion, stuck in her past, reliving it through conversing with me. During the conversation I came to the realisation that a lot of the conversations I have are just like this one in that that they’re set at some time in the past.
What’s even more ironic is that one of the concepts I teach is centered around the theme of life and movement. It’s based on the premise that if we’re not moving, doing stuff, getting shit done then we’re not able to progress forward on our journey on spaceship earth. And we’re left feeling… well… stuck! So for thirty minutes my girlfriend was telling me about how her colleague at work was driving her bonkers, and in my mind I was like “all I’m hearing is bitching… whining… complaining… bla… fucking… bla”. I just let her talk, whilst I listened. I didn’t really add much to the conversation to be honest, till she was over her rant. I then asked her a simple question…
“What’s new and good in your world?”
There was a pause… an ummmmmm… wellll…
I thought it may have been a confronting question given the frame of mind she was in.
“Oh, my boyfriend and I brought a house yesterday”
I was like…. “I’M SORRY??? YOU BROUGHT A HOUSE AND YOU TELL ME NOW!!!”
She was so stuck in her mind about some insignificant it’s not going to matter in another week work debacle that she wasn’t even focusing on the beauty in the present moment. The fact that she was going to start a new chapter in life. The fact that she was moving forward in her relationship.
Thoughts of joy and happiness in the present moment were not in the forefront of her mind. And she had a HUGE reason to smile. Why was that?
And then it dawned on me. How much of me lives in my past? E.g. if you asked me what school I went to when I was a child I would know in an instant, but ask me where I want to be in 2 years from now I’d be like “errrr… I kinda know but don’t at the same time”. I’ve set dreams/goals/intentions but I’m not 110% certain on them the same way that I’m certain about the school I went to.
And then I thought…
Do we live in a society where so many of us are burdened by our past so much so that we have limited access to our vision of the future? That thing that keeps us moving forward.
This might sound silly, but there are so many people that don’t bother with doing things like dream building exercises, planning for some goal in the future, something to look forward to. It’s weird, so many of us plan for “holidays from work” but don’t really think and strategically plan out their hopes/dreams/desires.
I hear about it all the time… The “I wish I did this when I was younger” syndrome. The living in the past frame of mind. In a state of regret. And sometimes fear. For something that simply cannot be changed.
It’s like when a baby is born there is this blank canvas. Then as the years go on life throws these defining events at them and they all boil up over time, where personal hardships may be suppressed in some way, shape or form. Then before they know it they’re a senior citizen and they barely venture out of their home because well who knows what’ll happen. Or even worse, they’re too “old and sick” to go for a walk around the block.
That is not movement. That is not living. And from a (higher vibrational) outsiders perspective looking in, it’s really disheartening to be honest.
It’s like driving your car forwards and making a decision to not turn right because of something that’s in your rear vision mirror.
It’s like that guy with dark hair and dimples that you won’t go near because he reminds you of your ex.
Do you ever have these backwards moments in life?
Do you ever take the time to re-evaluate your situation and circumstances, taking what you need from that moment in the past, letting it go and moving on from it. Or do you stew over it for days, week, months or even years?
So many of us are living in the past so much so that we often miss what’s right in front of us.
Next time you catch yourself stewing over a person and/or situation that is in the past and out of your immediate control. Stop. Think about why you’re thinking about it. Take whatever lesson you need from it. Be thankful for it and see it as an opportunity for growth. And move forwards.
Hope you found this one interesting.
Remember – Be happy. Be True. Be You.
Love and light,
P.S. – I’m currently available for one-on-one online health coaching. Where you’ll get extra special care and attention from me. Think of me as your accountability coach. I’ll help you to dig deep and guide you in understanding what it is that you want to achieve with your health and lifestyle. If this is something that speaks to you then please check out my Health Coaching page to learn more and send me some electronic love – Sammy@sammydelci.com. If you mention that you read this blog post I’ll throw in an introductory Empowerment Session FOR FREE!